An Ode to Flowers - A Little Inspiration

Like most people do at some point, I have recently been going through a phase of being completely uninspired. I have been writing; the general rule of writing is to write every day; but what I’ve been writing hasn’t been good enough to share, or good enough full stop. That is, until the last week or so.

Growing up, and still now, music has been a huge part of my life. And moreso than the music, the lyrics to the songs mean so much. I was the teenager who had her favourite song lyrics of the week as my MSN tag name; who would update my Myspace page with lyrics portraying my mood. The words were what made the songs stand out.

In my eyes, nobody’s words reach out to me in the same way as Brandon Flowers’ lyrics. Front man of The Killers, the lyrics to his songs write a story; a story each listener will relate to in their own way. The lyrics aren’t just words; they create images and literally take over your mind as you listen.

Anybody that knows me on a personal level will know that The Killers have basically provided the soundtrack to my life; from dancing to ‘Mr Brightside’ at my first NYE celebrations with my (now) husband; to my daughter singing along to ‘Flesh and Bone’ at just 16 months old; from putting my wedding dress on to the words of ‘The Rising Tide’; to my son being born to Brandon Flowers’ Flamingo album. I’ve even got their lyrics tattooed on my arm as a constant reminder to set a good example to myself, my family and my friends.

 Each song can be perceived in its own way, by whoever is listening to it. But for me, the references to religion are particularly poignant. I could list countless lyrics here that I find inspiring or thought-provoking, to name a few:

“And the decades disappear
Like sinking ships but we persevere.
God gives us hope but we still fear what we don't know”
A Dustland Fairytale, Day and Age, 2008

 

“We're the ones who still believe
And we're looking for a page
In that lifeless book of hope.
Where a dream might help you cope
With the Bushes and the bombs
A-re, Tranquilized”
Tranquilise, Sawdust, 2007

 

“Be still
Wild and young
Long may your innocence reign
Like shells on the shore
And may your limits be unknown
And may your efforts be your own
If you ever feel you can't take it anymore

Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is done”
Be Still, Battleborn, 2012

 

But this blog post is about one song in particular.

On the 18th May 2015, Brandon Flowers released his second solo album, The Desired Effect. It debuted at number one in the UK, and for good reason. The album as a whole has an 80’s feel to it, channelling Bruce Springsteen and Mark Knopler, as well as a sample of Bronski Beat’s ‘Smalltown Boy’.

Before the album release, I was trawling through youtube late on a Saturday night, when I came across ‘Still Want You’. I hit play and was pleasantly surprised by a catchy piano melody with a smiling Brandon at the helm of the video. It’s not often you get Brandon Flowers smiling in a music video. I kept the song on repeat and got to know the feel of the song and the lyrics. I played it to my husband when he got home, and I played it to my children the next day.

I listened to the other tracks which were being used to promote the album, “Lonely Town”, “Can’t Deny My Love”, “I Can Change”. I liked them all. But I kept going back to “Still Want You”. Here are the lyrics:

Still Want You

 

Everyone's got a combination
If you put in the time
The numbers come like a revelation
You show me yours
I'll show you mine
And when you're down, girl, you got to know this
Nobody else is in your room
We'll make it through

 

[Chorus:]
Time is passing by
I still want you
Crime is on the rise
I still want you
Climate change and debt
I still want you
Nuclear distress
I still want you
The Earth is heating up
I still want you
Hurricanes and floods
I still want you
Even more than I did before

 

I used to think that I knew the big time
Before you came around
But I was up in the velvet gold mind
And you put my feet back on the ground
A piece of mind is a lot to ask for
These silly days
But we got it made
Don't let it fade
Oh, no!

 

[Chorus]

 

And when your mind's made up
I'm gonna bring it down
When you got no time
You're gonna see it found
Your heart, crowds call
There's something on the line
It's hard for me to show
There's something you should know

 

[Chorus]

 

Time is passing by
I still want you
Crime is on the rise
I still want you
Nuclear distress
I still want you
Climate change and debt
I still want you
The Earth is heating up
I still want you
Hurricanes and floods
I still want you
Even more than I did
Even more than I did
Before

 

 

This could have been written by Flowers for his wife, possibly to God, who knows? But for me, this is a big fat down to earth message. There’s so much going on in the world, and I’m one of the lucky ones. I am a sucker for getting caught up in my own headspace and I do need a reminder to bring me back down. I find myself complaining about having no time, but if I slow down and relax, time will come to me. Sharing headspace is a good remedy, and this is me sharing my headspace.

 

So here is my inspiration. A note to remind me not to give in to that self-doubt.

A truth has presented itself, contradicting my prior knowledge.
The missing gem of instruction that I can neither deny nor rectify.
A fact I cannot incorporate into my mental space.
Misplaced; profound; a paradox of simplicity.
A powerful idea diluting my mind.
Master it; take hold.
Fear will only make it lost.

The Story of Us - An Extract

For the first time in seven years, I wrote a poem for my husband for Valentine's Day. It tells the story of our meeting, our early years, our first baby, our wedding, our second baby and our family. I'm not going to publish it all here, because it was written for my husband, but here are a few extracts I wanted to share. 

The Story of Us (An Extract)

(...)Do you remember the things that we used to do?

The drinking, the parties, in our flat for two.

I loved that place, our first home together,

I never thought we’d move out, not then, not ever.

But we had some news, we were starting a family,

we’d no longer be, just Craig and Emily.

I remember your reaction, the smile, the hug,

finishing off with, “I love you, bug”

On 20th March, our girl was born,

our sweet little Eva, on the first spring morn.

She had your eyes, and she had my cheeks,

it wasn’t long before she started to shriek.

She turned our world upside down,

Our princess with a double crown.

That was 2011! Where’s the time gone?

But let’s not stop there, I’m not nearly done(..)

(...)So now we’re married, I’m Mrs Tee,

It’s 2014, we’re having another baby.

Just as we planned, we’re having a boy,

I’d never imagine he could bring us such joy.

It was scary at first, he was born too quick,

But they wrapped him up in a blanket all thick.

We gave him a cuddle, and he held on,

our strong baby boy, our little Jackson.

So we’ve grown to a noisy family of four,

we don’t really drink or party any more.

But who needs that when we’re so complete,

forty little toes on eight little feet.

I’m so glad I met you, you’re simply the best,

I never want it to change, we’ve built our nest.

I’ll love you for always, my husband, my friend,

my favourite, my best, together ‘til the end.

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 1

Any regular readers would have found this quite predictable, number one is of course, Hermione Granger from The Harry Potter Series. Hermione appeared in all seven of the Harry Potter books, a key member of Harry's inner circle, the intelligence, the mentor and the best friend.

The reason I have given the number one spot to Hermione, is because she's the character that grew up alongside me. Back in 1998, I was ten years old, a year younger than Hermione was on the release date of 'The Philosophers' Stone' that same year. I too, was a nerdy know-it-all who didn't always fit in, and I also related to that competitive side of her, the side of her that always wanted to win. 

At the beginning of the series, Hermione is all of the above. She seems to latch herself on to Harry and Ron, but they find her annoying and a busybody. As a 'muggle-born', she struggles to make friends at Hogwarts, the witches and wizards see her as an outsider, especially when she turns out to be a better witch than all of them! 

However, as she grows through the series, particularly after the end of the Philosophers' Stone, when she has proven how brave and valued she really is, other aspects of Hermione's personality comes through. As well as her keen intelligence, she also has a very high level of understanding of all dangers that she encounters; where Harry shows no fear and faces anything, regardless of any consequence, and Ron shows a lot of fear and prefers to run, Hermione has a middle ground. With a high-level of understanding, she will look danger in the face, but without that understanding, she would rather plan and strategise. 

Harry, being the main character of the book, has a high profile family background, all of his parental figures have been killed in some way, and towards the end of the book, has given up on a 'regular' family life. Hermione on the other hand, has always had a stable family life, her parents are both dentists who live an everyday 'muggle' life. A key point in the series which truly outlines Hermione's strength is when she erases her parents memory of her every existence. She wanted to keep them safe, and the only way she could do that, was to remove herself from their lives. This act of selflessness shows Hermione's true character; a strong, honest and brave young woman, willing to put others needs before her own. 

A sucker for a romance, I was so pleased when Hermione and Ron finally took their friendship to the next level. Back in the early days of the series, it was implied that Hermione had a soft spot for Harry, however, putting these two together would have been predictable and disappointing, and not a JK Rowling move. Although, reading further through the series, Hermione and Ron became more and more predictable, it was also the relationship that we were all rooting for (along with Harry and Ginny, obviously.) Hermione and Ron contrast eachother perfectly, intelligence vs humour, fear vs bravery, knowledge vs understanding. Throughout the book, romance was always an area of her life that Hermione didn't understand, which is why it took so long for Hermione and Ron to finally get together. For me, coming towards the end of the final book, it was a well-deserved happy ending for Hermione, it wouldn't have been fair for her to end up with anybody else, or to leave her with nobody at all!

Through brewing Polyjuice Potion in the girls toilets, and helping Harry complete the Triwizard Tournament, Hermione's defining moment came in the final novel of the series, The Deathly Hallows. There was an expectation that Harry, Ron and Hermione would search for the Horcruxes together, but when Ron leaves, Harry and Hermione are left to find them alone. Here all of the individual aspects of Hermione's personality that we've seen in snippets so far, culminate into one, her bravery, her strength, her knowledge, her loyalty, fighting alongside Harry to end Voldemort's rise to power. We see Harry and Hermione's friendship blossom for the second time, since the Triwizard Tournament when Harry and Ron avoided each other and she was a go between, but being older now, their friendship seems more powerful and complete. 

Hermione was the heroine of the Harry Potter novels, the question for me is whether the novels would have read the same without her? I think we all know that the answer to that is no. 

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 2

Number two goes to Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games Trilogy. Created by Suzanne Collins, Katniss Everdeen is inspirational to a whole generation of young adults. Partially based on the greek myth, Theseus and the Minotaur, this fantasy book sparks the imagination in a way that few books can. 

Published in 2008, The Hunger Games Trilogy covers three books, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay. They are set in a post-apocalyptic world in a country called Panem. Panem is split into twelve districts, each named by an according number. Katniss and her family live in District 12, a poor, coal-mining district, ruined with starvation and poverty. 

I didn't read any of the books until 2012, when I read all three in around two weeks. I just couldn't stop reading. The idea behind the actual Hunger Games, which take place annually within Panem, is just brilliant. There are two 'tributes' per district, and all 24 'tributes' fight to the death in an arena, with only one winner. The Hunger Games are aired on TV for all of the districts to watch, for their entertainment, and as a harsh reminder for them to follow the rules of Panem and not to rebel. I was absorbed into this fictional world where literally, anything could happen. 

Katniss lives with her mother and her little sister, Prim. Katniss and Prim's relationship shows the first powerful characteristic of Katniss, her nurturing and protective side. Katniss loves her sister, and will do anything to provide for her and ensure that she is safe. She hunts on a daily basis to ensure that they eat, and when Prim is picked as the female tribute for the Hunger Games, Katniss volunteers in her place. This protectiveness shows Katniss' loyalty and love to her sister. This is also portrayed through her relationship with Rue in the arena. Rue reminds Katniss of Prim, and I think this is the one and only reason their friendship even starts. 

Throughout the book, Collins portrays Katniss' resourcefulness. She's a hunter, she's a provider, she's a quick-thinker, and above all, she's a fighter. There are very few moments in the book where Katniss appears to give up, and even when she gets to that point, something inside her pulls her back to reality, and to her focused self. She has lived a life of survival; surviving in District 12 to surviving in the Hunger Games. This makes Katniss quite tough, she isn't sentimental about much, she's a closed book. I don't think it's clear to any other characters, or the reader, what Katniss is thinking at any point during the book. But I don't think this makes her unlikeable, like some have suggested, it just makes her a bit more of a mystery than other heroines may be. 

The closed side of her is also shown when she is plunged into the celebrity world of The Capitol. Prior to the Hunger Games starting, each tribute is made up, dressed, displayed and interviewed in front of all 12 districts. This is hard for Katniss as she's quite a private person, she's not a talker or a sharer, so to be interviewed about her personality, her feelings, her family and her love interests make her feel incredibly uncomfortable. It's at these moments that we quite often see the funny side of Katniss, she uses her sense of humour as a shield, to protect her from having to actually share her secrets. 

Although cliche, I think Katniss is one of those characters that everybody can relate to. She's a great example for girls to aspire to (and women if I'm anything to go by)...apart from the romantic side of her. Katniss' strength and control in all areas of her life make it difficult for her to show her true self. The only person that really knows her is Gale, her hunting partner and long-term friend. They share a few moments prior to Katniss going into the arena, but it seems like she forgets about him when she goes into the Hunger Games and creates a 'show-mance' with Peeta. Although this was directed by Haymitch, their sponsor on the outside of the arena, Peeta does actually fall for Katniss, and the way I saw it, she kind of led him on! So, there's a side of the strong, protective fighter that isn't so perfect, but that can only make her more relate-able. 

This is one of the few books where I actually enjoyed watching the film too. The film was almost as absorbing as the books were, and Jennifer Lawrence portrayed Katniss faultlessly. Katniss has definitely influenced mine, and many other young womens' lives. I have no doubt that The Hunger Games Trilogy will become a must-have shelf filler for many more generations. 

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 3

Number three goes to Jo March from Little Women. The novel was written by Louisa May Alcott in 1868, outlining the every day lives of four sisters, Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy, as their father fights in the civil war. A highly anticipated first novel for Louisa, it was followed closely by her second novel and it's sequel, Good Wives, in 1869.

I haven't mentioned this book in my blog before, and it was only when I was putting together this countdown that I realised that. I was surprised as this book was such a massive part of my childhood. As a child, I was overly chatty, clumsy, and slightly over-confident for my age. I was never quiet when I was supposed to be, unless I had my head stuck in a book, and I always made sure that I shared my opinions. If you've read Little Women, you're probably beginning to understand why I related to Jo, out of the four sisters, in particular. 

Jo is the second child out of the four, she's a tomboy, she thinks she knows best, she's opinionated, but she's happy, nothing gets her down. I am fond of Jo because of her ambition. In the time the book is set, women did 'women's jobs', they weren't meant to write novels or fight in the army, but Jo didn't care that she wasn't meant to, she still wanted to. Although whilst growing up she was never specific about what she wanted to do, she always wanted to do something 'great', and low and behold, she went on to have a novel published. 

Jo has a strong relationship with her sister, Beth. Beth is shy, gentle and kind, and their relationship works because they are complete opposites. Beth reminds Jo of the qualities that don't come naturally to her, yet she also helps her to become more comfortable in her own skin. Their relationship was the one that I enjoyed most throughout the novel, the one that I felt was the deepest and the most genuine. 

Jo's character was actually based on Louisa May Alcott herself. Louisa never married, but through pressure from her publishers, she was steered into providing Jo with a romance. This wasn't something she had originally planned for Jo, so in order to play with the publishers, and her readers, she didn't give Jo the romance that everybody was expecting - Laurie - she married her off to a secondary character, Mr Bhaer. Although I'm amused by Louisa not giving into expectations here, I was never a fan of this coupling. Jo should have married Laurie, they were a perfect match, contrasting yet so similar at the same time. And Laurie and Amy were never a believable pair. 

That small hiccup aside, this story truly is a classic. For me, Jo made the book, without her it just wouldn't have had the personality, the longevity or the punch that it did. 

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 4

Number four in My Top Five Influential Women in Fiction goes to Jean Louise Finch, or Scout, from To Kill A Mockingbird. Written by the amazing Harper Lee, and up until recently, her only published novel, To Kill A Mockingbird is a story that truly analyses the irony of human kind and the differences between good and evil.

I first read the novel during secondary school, maybe my fourth or fifth year. It’s one of the few novels where I actually watched the film before I read the book, something which I tend to avoid due to the use of ‘poetic license’ in a film production. However, in this instance, the film was actually quite true to the book. After the film viewing, I read the book over and over, and I fell in love with Scout as a character. I wanted to be as intelligent and as confident as her; I understood her view of the world and how contradictory it was; and I really enjoyed reading about the relationship she shared with her father and brother.

Set in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama, the story revolves around lawyer, Atticus Finch, and his family as he defends a black man for raping a white woman, in a predominantly racist town.

At the beginning of the story, Scout is just five years old. I was drawn to her character because she's such a unique little girl, she’s a fighter, she’s bright beyond her years and she is much more aware of what is going on around her than a normal five year old would be. She’s growing up in a time when children should be children, and girls should be ladylike, neither of which she cares to be. She speaks her mind and due to how Atticus’ has brought her up, she is forthright but good-hearted.

The story is narrated by Jean Louise Finch, or Scout as an adult. This was a clever move from Harper Lee; as well as getting the innocence of Scout and the genuine lack of understanding a five year old has, she also conveys the knowledge of the older Jean Louise, who has a different view of her father than the younger Scout. For example, Jean Louise is in awe that her father orchestrated Scout overhearing his conversation with Uncle Jack about the case and the repercussions on the family, and on Atticus, in order to prepare her for what was coming.

The story takes place over three years, and Scout grows up a lot and learns a lot of lessons between the ages of five and eight. The main lesson is how to walk in somebody else’s shoes, something which Atticus begins to teach her very early in the story, but she doesn’t truly understand until the end, when she is able to put herself in Boo Radley’s shoes. (Boo Radley was Scout’s neighbour, an avid curiosity of hers due to his speculated disability and the fact he doesn’t ever come outside). The ending of the book where she explains to Atticus why she thinks Boo was right to kill Bob Ewell, and ultimately save the children’s lives, shows how she has matured through the book and has developed a clearer understanding of right and wrong, and good and evil.

An analysis of the themes within To Kill a Mockingbird is another blog post, however, Scout’s character helps to convey those themes in such a way that the reader can’t help but to develop an affinity with her.

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 5

Number five in My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction has to be 'Celie' from The Color Purple. It's very rare that a character grows so much through a novel; the change from passive, quiet and submissive young Celie to strong, independent and mindful older Celie really is a powerful journey. 

I first read The Color Purple during my A Levels. It was one of those books that took a while for me to really enjoy, but once I got there, I couldn't put it down. I particularly enjoyed the format of the book; the story is written through Celie's letters to God, a God to whom she doesn't actually feel particularly close to. 

The novel begins with Celie as a young girl in rural Georgia in the 1930's. She is constantly subjected to abuse at the hands of her step-father, Alphonso. She deals with this by doing all she can to make herself 'invisible'.

Her only form of expression are her letters; the early letters see Celie talk about her abuse, her relationship with her younger sister, Nettie, and the two children which her step-father took away from her at birth. She now presumes them dead. All of these things are hard for Celie to cope with, and her tone is saddened and self-deprecating. 

Before long, Celie is 'married off' to a man she only knows as Mr.______. He only married her so she could keep his house clean and cook for him, and, like Celie's step-father, he also abuses her. In Celie's eyes, the only good thing about the marriage was that she was able to remove Nettie from her step-father's house and protect her. Unfortunately, Mr.______ throws Nettie out of the house when she refuses his advances. Celie and Nettie promise to write to one another, but Celie doesn't hear from Nettie anymore.

Feeling alone, Celie feels that she doesn't have much to live for. And then she is introduced to Mr._____'s mistress, Shug Avery. Shug Avery is a beautiful and seemingly empowered character, Celie sees her as a role model and wants to be like her. 

Without the introduction of Shug, Celie wouldn't have had the opportunity to develop as a character in the way she did. Shug helps Celie to find her confidence and she begins to stand up to Mr._____ more than she has ever done before. With Shug's help, Celie discovers that Nettie's letters are hidden in Mr______'s trunk. Within Nettie's letters, she tells Celie that her step-father has died and that she has found her two children, Olivia and Adam, and she's with them in Africa, conducting aid work. This discovery, along with the letters, helps Celie to find her sense of self, build her confidence, and the process culminates in her becoming enraged at Mr.______. His response is his usual insulting manner, but they no longer affect Celie in the way that they used to. This turning point in the book is pivotal to Celie's character, she finds her voice and her power, and begins to get to know her own mind. 

Celie and Shug leave Mr.______'s house in Georgia and move to Memphis together. This decision changes Celie's life and transforms her into a happy, successful and independent woman. She starts up her own tailoring business, and after being voiceless for such a long time, is soon a contented individual who doesn't have to rely on anybody else.

Hers and Shug's relationship dissolves into a friendship, but a firm friendship. Shug will always be the person who pulled Celie from the depths of herself. Celie soon discovers that the family home back in Georgia was actually left to her and Nettie when their Mother died many years before, so she heads back to Georgia to prepare the house for Nettie's impending return, which will also bring Celie's children home.

Nettie, Olivia and Adam return to Georgia from their aid work in Africa, and Celie's life is finally complete, along with the growth of her character from the meek and scared young child who is abused so much that she wants to make herself invisible, to the strong, self-assured old woman at the end of the book. 

The novel ends with the lines: 

"But I don't think us feel old at all. And us so happy. Matter of fact, I think this the youngest us ever felt. Amen."

This in itself shows the full circle of the characters journey, she started as a young girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, and ended as an old lady, with no worries at all.