The Nutcracker - A Christmas Memory

What story do you think of when you think of Christmas? What story captures your imagination and transports you back to your childhood festivities? For my children, I think it would be The Gruffalo or The Night Before Christmas (a traditional Christmas Eve read in our house); but for me, it’s the story of a young girl who’s toys come to life on Christmas Eve and take her on an adventure to The Land of Sweets: The Nutcracker. 

One of my earliest memories of my school life was performing as a Sugar Plum Fairy in our school nativity play. From that moment, the story was engrained in my Christmas memories. I was lucky enough to see the Moscow Ballet perform the story alongside Tchaikovsky’s riveting score this weekend (14th November), and it was completely captivating. 

Written by E.T.A. Hoffman and premiered at the Marlinksy Theatre in 1892, The Nutcracker focuses on the protagonist, Clara, and her family on Christmas Eve night. The family are having a party around the Christmas tree with their extended family and friends; Clara and her brother Fritz are playing with toys that have been given to them by their Godfather, a local toymaker. Clara takes a particular liking to one toy in particular, a Nutcracker painted to look like a soldier. Unfortunately, whilst playing with the Nutcracker, Fritz breaks it. Clara is very upset and argues with her brother before they both go to bed. 

During the night, Clara returns to the Christmas tree to check on the Nutcracker. In the family room, magic occurs and the toys come to life. A battle takes place between the toy soldiers led by the Nutcracker, and an army of mice led by the Mouse King. It looks like the mice will win, but Clara throws her slipper at the Mouse King, which distracts him long enough for the Nutcracker to gain an advantage and ultimately win the battle. The mice disappear, wounded, having lost the battle. 

Upon winning the battle, the Nutcracker transforms into a handsome prince. He is grateful to Clara for saving him, so takes her to his homeland, the Land of Sweets, to thank her. They are greeted by a Sugar Plum Fairy who presents Clara with an array of performances from various delicacies, including chocolate, coffee, tea and candy canes. The Sugar Plum Fairy completes the performance with a finale. 

The Prince then bows to Clara, and she is transported back to the family room, waved on by all of the Sugar Plum Fairies and delicacies. 

The magic of this story mirrors the magic of Christmas, and the magic of a child’s imagination. What child doesn’t want to be transported to a Land of Sweets?! It’s a timeless classic and can be enjoyed by girls and boys alike. The ballet performance alone was absorbing and a compliment must be given to the accuracy and ease of each and every dancer. I hope you can bring the joy of this story into your household this Christmas too.

Book Review: More Than This by Patrick Ness

More Than This is the epitome of Young Adult fiction. A dystopian novel covering themes of sexuality, philosophy, technology and religion, all with a thrilling backdrop. This book was a pleasant surprise, and well worth putting the time aside to read. 

Revolving around the thoughts of main character, Seth, we meet him as he's committing suicide by plunging himself into the ocean. We don't know why, all we know is that he's dying. He wakes up in England (he lives in America), in a house he hasn't lived in for several years. He's lying semi-naked on the pavement outside his house. Everything surrounding him is overgrown, dilapidated and deserted. 

Drifting in and out of consciousness for a few days, he moves around the house and discovers it's exactly as it was when he lived here, with the furniture that his family took to America with him still in the house, along with the painful reminders of why the left England in the first place. 

The chapters jump between Seth exploring the strange place in which he's woken up, and him enduring flashbacks to his old life in America which led to his suicide. 

Ness writes an absorbing journey of teenage exploration, we find out why Seth felt the need to commit suicide, and how he reacts to being trapped in his own idea of hell. He soon discovers he's not as deserted as he initially thought, and he finds out what has happened to his family. 

We see Seth as he discovers his true self, discovers where he is, and discovers how he can fix the wrongs he's done. 

Stop reading now if you don't want to read the following spoilers...

Sexuality


We find out about a third of the way into the book that Seth is gay, and prior to his suicide, he was forced to 'come out' to his entire school in a horrible way. He lost the only person he felt that loved him for who he was and we see how he struggles to come to terms with firstly the loss, and secondly, his fault in the situation. 
The way Ness has thought about the extent to which this virtual world has taken over our life is genius and portrays a world which would not be surprising at some point in the future. 


The way Ness approaches a problem which is at the forefront of a lot of teenagers lives is clever and sensitive. He doesn't make a big deal out of Seth's sexuality, but focuses instead on how the people surrounding Seth handled his sexuality; particularly his mother and his friends and the effect that this had on Seth. 


Philosophy

Seth wakes up, not knowing where he is and we follow him as he comes up with many different ideas as to how he got there and where he is. He starts to wonder whether he's stuck inside his own mind, and he's controlling what happens and when just by thinking things; for example, he wonders if there are any animals where he is, and some foxes appear. As he starts to run towards his death, for the second time, he is saved moments before he dies by two new characters, who before long become his friends in the strange world he's living in. He even tells them of his thoughts on how he conjured them up to save his life, and how they're a figment of his imagination. 

This journey and realisation shows how self centred Seth is, but also the strength he holds within his mind, and how he is reluctant to rely on other people. By the end of the book, we never find out whether or not his theory was correct (hence why we need a sequel!), but it definitely added a depth to the story as we didn't know as much as Seth didn't know. 


Technology

Seth finds a 'coffin' in his bedroom, which he soon figures out is what he came out of. After meeting his friends, he finds out that the whole world was put into these coffins to live out an alternative life. A life that was ultimately better than the one they were living in previously. Initially, they went 'online' and 'offline' and lived between their lives, but before long the population moved permanently 'online', with only the janitors left behind to ensure they stayed there. They had pipes to feed and water them, pipes to remove their waste, and the technology became so advanced that women were able to give birth in the real world, and for it to be emulated in the online world. 

This exploration of an 'online' and 'offline' world is an exaggerated version of how we live today. Social media is such a huge part of our lives, and it gives us the opportunity to portray a perfect version of ourselves. Seth was disconnected from the online world, as were his friends, but as they discover when and why their families decided to go online, they find out more and more secrets abot their lives. Seth finds out that he was living in a world where his brother was 'brought back to life in a virtual world', after his death in the real world, a death which his parents never came to terms with. It's heartbreaking when Seth discovers his brother is actually dead, and not just left injured from an accident years before, which is what he'd always thought previously.


Religion

Seth regularly questions whether he is in hell and whether the janitor is death. The representation of such Christian qualities is evident of his upbringing in England, but the fact he continuously forces the idea away as though it cannot be true shows his religious thoughts too. He would much rather feel hope from his own mind in the thoughts that he is controlling what happens, than rely on hope from something which he cannot be sure of. 

Again, this represents the thoughts of our teenage world today. More young adults are questions religion and what their beliefs are, just as Seth does. And Ness explores this beautifully. 


Whether you're a young adult or not, this book makes you think. It explores themes which aren't touched on very often and it explores them in a sensitive but upfront way. I just hope there's a sequel so that I can have my numerous questions answered. Patrick Ness? Do you care to tell us??

National Poetry Day...and some news!

I write today for two reasons. Firstly, to wish you all a happy National Poetry Day, I have acknowledged the day by thinking about the poems which most resonate with me, and I’ve chosen The Jabberwocky as my poem of choice. And secondly, to acknowledge our current transition to my favourite season, autumn. The season that brings me back to life.

The Jabberwocky

The Jabberwocky is from of my comfort read, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, more specifically, Through the Looking Glass. I love how the words, if I can even call Carroll’s wonderful jumbles of letters, words, just flow over each other. I love how in the book it’s written in mirror language, and it can’t just be read off the page. I love how it’s potentially one of the greatest nonsense poems of all time (sorry Mr Lear!).

 

 
I share Alice’s view of the poem, but I love the images it fills my head with, whether I can make sense of them or not:

“It seems very pretty," she said when she had finished it, "but it's rather hard to understand!" (You see she didn't like to confess, even to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.) "Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas—only I don't exactly know what they are! However, somebody killed something: that's clear, at any rate”

The Jabberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

 

Autumn

Autumn is the season which pulls me out of that summer slump. I’m not a fan of summer; I’m a big fan of feeling cosy, something which summer cruelly steals away from me.

There’s something magical about autumn though. Not just the cliché of the leaves changing colour and the days getting shorter, although I do enjoy the experience; but more than that. There’s a crispness in the air which clears my mind and helps me to focus, something which I struggle with during the summer months. Almost like hibernating in reverse!

This autumn brings the return of conker searching, kicking up the leaves and jumping in puddles.

More significantly, it brings the start of my studies towards a BA (Hons) in English Literature and Creative Writing. I have been studying for two weeks now, and to have my mind so absorbed into a particular subject is really exciting for me. I’ll be studying part-time over the next 6 years, which seems like such a huge amount of time, but I know that it’ll be well worth the investment.

I decided to study for a degree for three reasons:

1. I have always had a small regret that I never attended university back when I was 18. Looking back, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind then, and definitely would not have got the results I wanted. Now I am determined to get the results that I want, and definitely in the right place to do so.

2. I think it’s important to set a good example to my children. Learning never stops, no matter how old you get. I hope that I inspire them to continue learning long after they have left the classroom behind.

3. As part of my career, a degree will improve my skills, increase my knowledge and allow me to progress.

 

So here I am, giddily enjoying autumn and the exciting things it brings for me. I pull on my scarf and coat, give a little smile, and wander away…

“Autumn days when the grass is jewelled and the silk inside a chestnut shell…”

The Versions Of Us by Laura Barnett - Book Review

There has been a subdued silence on my blog recently, which I’m sorry for. I haven’t been ignoring you, I’ve been busy pursuing ideas outside of the blog, but still connected to my writing. Despite this, I feel the need to share a book with you that I have recently finished reading: The Versions Of Us by Laura Barnett.

Following the lives of Eva and Jim, the novel begins with one event, Eva riding her bicycle and almost colliding with a dog. What follows is an absorbing love story describing three possible outcomes of that event and how they change the course of the two characters’ lives.

Eva and Jim are nineteen when they meet, and both studying at Cambridge University. The three stories describe their lives from 1958 to the present day, recording their lives, their relationships, their families, their careers. The ‘constants’ are the characters of Eva and Jim, but each ‘version’ is completely different.

Each chapter is labelled as either Version One, Two or Three. Version One tells the story of Eva and Jim as a couple from when they met at the collision with the dog; in Version Two, Eva and Jim just miss eachother, lead separate lives, but cross paths at regular intervals, finally convening in old age. and Version Three, tells the story of Eva and Jim starting a relationship at University, before parting and meeting later in life and starting an affair together.

For me, each version was as enveloping as the previous. I felt the highs and the lows and I lived each version of their lives with them. The version that I connected with most, and the one that affected me the most, was Version Two, feeling the anticipation of their lives crossing and ultimately ending up together.

Surprisingly, this is Barnett’s first novel, but it reads like the work of a well-practiced veteran. I have rarely felt so connected to the characters in a novel, so much so that I felt disappointment at their failures, felt sadness at their loss, and victorious at their milestones. This was particularly applicable to Eva’s character who was written so well that I could relate to every aspect of her, but maybe that’s just because she was written similarly to myself.

I would, and have, recommended this book to every one of my fellow readers. Upon reading, you will feel included in the characters’ journey, wanting to take part in it up to the very last chapter, and beyond. I’m still feeling the book hangover now.

An Ode to Flowers - A Little Inspiration

Like most people do at some point, I have recently been going through a phase of being completely uninspired. I have been writing; the general rule of writing is to write every day; but what I’ve been writing hasn’t been good enough to share, or good enough full stop. That is, until the last week or so.

Growing up, and still now, music has been a huge part of my life. And moreso than the music, the lyrics to the songs mean so much. I was the teenager who had her favourite song lyrics of the week as my MSN tag name; who would update my Myspace page with lyrics portraying my mood. The words were what made the songs stand out.

In my eyes, nobody’s words reach out to me in the same way as Brandon Flowers’ lyrics. Front man of The Killers, the lyrics to his songs write a story; a story each listener will relate to in their own way. The lyrics aren’t just words; they create images and literally take over your mind as you listen.

Anybody that knows me on a personal level will know that The Killers have basically provided the soundtrack to my life; from dancing to ‘Mr Brightside’ at my first NYE celebrations with my (now) husband; to my daughter singing along to ‘Flesh and Bone’ at just 16 months old; from putting my wedding dress on to the words of ‘The Rising Tide’; to my son being born to Brandon Flowers’ Flamingo album. I’ve even got their lyrics tattooed on my arm as a constant reminder to set a good example to myself, my family and my friends.

 Each song can be perceived in its own way, by whoever is listening to it. But for me, the references to religion are particularly poignant. I could list countless lyrics here that I find inspiring or thought-provoking, to name a few:

“And the decades disappear
Like sinking ships but we persevere.
God gives us hope but we still fear what we don't know”
A Dustland Fairytale, Day and Age, 2008

 

“We're the ones who still believe
And we're looking for a page
In that lifeless book of hope.
Where a dream might help you cope
With the Bushes and the bombs
A-re, Tranquilized”
Tranquilise, Sawdust, 2007

 

“Be still
Wild and young
Long may your innocence reign
Like shells on the shore
And may your limits be unknown
And may your efforts be your own
If you ever feel you can't take it anymore

Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is done”
Be Still, Battleborn, 2012

 

But this blog post is about one song in particular.

On the 18th May 2015, Brandon Flowers released his second solo album, The Desired Effect. It debuted at number one in the UK, and for good reason. The album as a whole has an 80’s feel to it, channelling Bruce Springsteen and Mark Knopler, as well as a sample of Bronski Beat’s ‘Smalltown Boy’.

Before the album release, I was trawling through youtube late on a Saturday night, when I came across ‘Still Want You’. I hit play and was pleasantly surprised by a catchy piano melody with a smiling Brandon at the helm of the video. It’s not often you get Brandon Flowers smiling in a music video. I kept the song on repeat and got to know the feel of the song and the lyrics. I played it to my husband when he got home, and I played it to my children the next day.

I listened to the other tracks which were being used to promote the album, “Lonely Town”, “Can’t Deny My Love”, “I Can Change”. I liked them all. But I kept going back to “Still Want You”. Here are the lyrics:

Still Want You

 

Everyone's got a combination
If you put in the time
The numbers come like a revelation
You show me yours
I'll show you mine
And when you're down, girl, you got to know this
Nobody else is in your room
We'll make it through

 

[Chorus:]
Time is passing by
I still want you
Crime is on the rise
I still want you
Climate change and debt
I still want you
Nuclear distress
I still want you
The Earth is heating up
I still want you
Hurricanes and floods
I still want you
Even more than I did before

 

I used to think that I knew the big time
Before you came around
But I was up in the velvet gold mind
And you put my feet back on the ground
A piece of mind is a lot to ask for
These silly days
But we got it made
Don't let it fade
Oh, no!

 

[Chorus]

 

And when your mind's made up
I'm gonna bring it down
When you got no time
You're gonna see it found
Your heart, crowds call
There's something on the line
It's hard for me to show
There's something you should know

 

[Chorus]

 

Time is passing by
I still want you
Crime is on the rise
I still want you
Nuclear distress
I still want you
Climate change and debt
I still want you
The Earth is heating up
I still want you
Hurricanes and floods
I still want you
Even more than I did
Even more than I did
Before

 

 

This could have been written by Flowers for his wife, possibly to God, who knows? But for me, this is a big fat down to earth message. There’s so much going on in the world, and I’m one of the lucky ones. I am a sucker for getting caught up in my own headspace and I do need a reminder to bring me back down. I find myself complaining about having no time, but if I slow down and relax, time will come to me. Sharing headspace is a good remedy, and this is me sharing my headspace.

 

So here is my inspiration. A note to remind me not to give in to that self-doubt.

A truth has presented itself, contradicting my prior knowledge.
The missing gem of instruction that I can neither deny nor rectify.
A fact I cannot incorporate into my mental space.
Misplaced; profound; a paradox of simplicity.
A powerful idea diluting my mind.
Master it; take hold.
Fear will only make it lost.

The Story of Us - An Extract

For the first time in seven years, I wrote a poem for my husband for Valentine's Day. It tells the story of our meeting, our early years, our first baby, our wedding, our second baby and our family. I'm not going to publish it all here, because it was written for my husband, but here are a few extracts I wanted to share. 

The Story of Us (An Extract)

(...)Do you remember the things that we used to do?

The drinking, the parties, in our flat for two.

I loved that place, our first home together,

I never thought we’d move out, not then, not ever.

But we had some news, we were starting a family,

we’d no longer be, just Craig and Emily.

I remember your reaction, the smile, the hug,

finishing off with, “I love you, bug”

On 20th March, our girl was born,

our sweet little Eva, on the first spring morn.

She had your eyes, and she had my cheeks,

it wasn’t long before she started to shriek.

She turned our world upside down,

Our princess with a double crown.

That was 2011! Where’s the time gone?

But let’s not stop there, I’m not nearly done(..)

(...)So now we’re married, I’m Mrs Tee,

It’s 2014, we’re having another baby.

Just as we planned, we’re having a boy,

I’d never imagine he could bring us such joy.

It was scary at first, he was born too quick,

But they wrapped him up in a blanket all thick.

We gave him a cuddle, and he held on,

our strong baby boy, our little Jackson.

So we’ve grown to a noisy family of four,

we don’t really drink or party any more.

But who needs that when we’re so complete,

forty little toes on eight little feet.

I’m so glad I met you, you’re simply the best,

I never want it to change, we’ve built our nest.

I’ll love you for always, my husband, my friend,

my favourite, my best, together ‘til the end.

My Top 5 Influential Women in Fiction - Number 1

Any regular readers would have found this quite predictable, number one is of course, Hermione Granger from The Harry Potter Series. Hermione appeared in all seven of the Harry Potter books, a key member of Harry's inner circle, the intelligence, the mentor and the best friend.

The reason I have given the number one spot to Hermione, is because she's the character that grew up alongside me. Back in 1998, I was ten years old, a year younger than Hermione was on the release date of 'The Philosophers' Stone' that same year. I too, was a nerdy know-it-all who didn't always fit in, and I also related to that competitive side of her, the side of her that always wanted to win. 

At the beginning of the series, Hermione is all of the above. She seems to latch herself on to Harry and Ron, but they find her annoying and a busybody. As a 'muggle-born', she struggles to make friends at Hogwarts, the witches and wizards see her as an outsider, especially when she turns out to be a better witch than all of them! 

However, as she grows through the series, particularly after the end of the Philosophers' Stone, when she has proven how brave and valued she really is, other aspects of Hermione's personality comes through. As well as her keen intelligence, she also has a very high level of understanding of all dangers that she encounters; where Harry shows no fear and faces anything, regardless of any consequence, and Ron shows a lot of fear and prefers to run, Hermione has a middle ground. With a high-level of understanding, she will look danger in the face, but without that understanding, she would rather plan and strategise. 

Harry, being the main character of the book, has a high profile family background, all of his parental figures have been killed in some way, and towards the end of the book, has given up on a 'regular' family life. Hermione on the other hand, has always had a stable family life, her parents are both dentists who live an everyday 'muggle' life. A key point in the series which truly outlines Hermione's strength is when she erases her parents memory of her every existence. She wanted to keep them safe, and the only way she could do that, was to remove herself from their lives. This act of selflessness shows Hermione's true character; a strong, honest and brave young woman, willing to put others needs before her own. 

A sucker for a romance, I was so pleased when Hermione and Ron finally took their friendship to the next level. Back in the early days of the series, it was implied that Hermione had a soft spot for Harry, however, putting these two together would have been predictable and disappointing, and not a JK Rowling move. Although, reading further through the series, Hermione and Ron became more and more predictable, it was also the relationship that we were all rooting for (along with Harry and Ginny, obviously.) Hermione and Ron contrast eachother perfectly, intelligence vs humour, fear vs bravery, knowledge vs understanding. Throughout the book, romance was always an area of her life that Hermione didn't understand, which is why it took so long for Hermione and Ron to finally get together. For me, coming towards the end of the final book, it was a well-deserved happy ending for Hermione, it wouldn't have been fair for her to end up with anybody else, or to leave her with nobody at all!

Through brewing Polyjuice Potion in the girls toilets, and helping Harry complete the Triwizard Tournament, Hermione's defining moment came in the final novel of the series, The Deathly Hallows. There was an expectation that Harry, Ron and Hermione would search for the Horcruxes together, but when Ron leaves, Harry and Hermione are left to find them alone. Here all of the individual aspects of Hermione's personality that we've seen in snippets so far, culminate into one, her bravery, her strength, her knowledge, her loyalty, fighting alongside Harry to end Voldemort's rise to power. We see Harry and Hermione's friendship blossom for the second time, since the Triwizard Tournament when Harry and Ron avoided each other and she was a go between, but being older now, their friendship seems more powerful and complete. 

Hermione was the heroine of the Harry Potter novels, the question for me is whether the novels would have read the same without her? I think we all know that the answer to that is no.